Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
