hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
