***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
