You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
