david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
