Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
