It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
