Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You were trust falling into bushes
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize