The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
