you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
