I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
