..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
