The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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