Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
