are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
