i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
