please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
