marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
