u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
