just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she pinky promised me she was 18
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
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