I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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