You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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