The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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