we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize