that's an acceptable place to lick
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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