um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
