There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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