i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
