Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just pee around me
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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