Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
