i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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