Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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