We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You have to summon your inner elephant
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Randomize
