What a fucking waste of an outfit
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
