Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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