i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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