I think scott just propositioned me for sex
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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