i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
