butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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