Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
