the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
