3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
