Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
