it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
