Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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