At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
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