my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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