All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
