my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
