I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
