I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I have aggressive nipples.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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