So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
