how can u be prego again
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
