great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
