dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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