wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize