I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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