you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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