Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
