Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize