somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We named our party play list daddy issues
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
