when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
this just has baby written all over it
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
