He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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