She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
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It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
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I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
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