yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Why can't burritos get me drunk
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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